I thoroughly am disappointed at doctors.  I again attempt to get my doc (read my PA) to listen to me that there’s something not right.  I have been having a series of odd symptoms for years now that keep increasing in magnitude.  I keep going and they keep giving me pills.  At this point I don’t want to take them anymore…for in the past when I have, I get some sort of wild side effect.

My symptoms are general joint pain, specially in the neck, lumbar, fingers, knees, shoulders and ankles.  Yes, I realiase that’s most of my joints barring my pelvis, elbows and toes.  I also have awful headaches, weird chills where I’m either cold when everyone is hot or hot when everyone is cold.  I get excruciating headaches, that start with my daily neck pain and move on to full migraines.  There are days I wake up with a headache.  There are also days I wake up with blurred vision and a weird trembling feeling as if I was standing on a shaking platform.  I get tinnitus, which Adderall just makes it 100x louder…but without it I would have immense fatigue.

I also know I have a genetic condition (trait) that makes me anemic with a typical hemoglobing that hovers around 10 +/- 0.5.  And I have a history of something called Pseudotumor Cerebri…fancy name for brain pressure, but not to be confused with hydrocephalus, which is water in the brain.

Anyhow, the doc thinks I’m depressed, and order me up with all sorts of antidepressants I never fill.  I’m beginning to collect these scripts.  Or they think I need opiates and babituates to control the pain…I have a pretty collection of these scripts too.  My medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy filled with all sorts of potent NSAIDs and things with codeine in it…all mostly full because I hate the side effects and refuse to take anymore…eventually I return to my routine of tylenol/advil and rest.

Once again today I return because I was nauseus and dizzy and had pain on my left side…and I had yet another headache.  She decides it’s a migraine and prescribes a barbituate.  Unfortunately hubby drove and insisted I fill the prescription…Something with butalbital, aspirin and caffeine.  I lied about my headache being gone tonight and didn’t take it, instead asked for my typical tylenol to take the edge off.

What I keep saying to the doc (PA) is that I want to know WHY my joints hurt…WHY I have headaches and WHY I’m fatigued all the time.  Finally she’s going to call the neurologist she referred me to and move my appointment to a more urgent next-couple-of-days as opposed to within 3 weeks +.

Could be the PTC return, could be I have migraines, could be it’s all in my head and they can diagnose me with that famous catchall fybromyalgia.  “We know you have pain but don’t know why…try this other pill.”

It amazes me how quick they are to give out opiates and barbituates and other-ates to people they see once in a while…for all they know I abuse drugs and complain of pain everywhere.  It’s no wonder people with a propensity to get addicted to things eventually do…these docs give out anything to anyone.  And on top of that, things that could interact…just last month she gave me a script for Cymbalta…and today she’s giving me a barbituate… Some of us want to find out what’s wrong with us first before we try something…specially CNS interacting molecules!

Or maybe I know too much darned chemistry to accept just any molecule in concentrated dosages.  I have seen these reps, I play tennis with a couple, and there is no way docs and reps have really any idea what all these molecules do and contraindications they may have…

Technorati Tags: prescription drugs, over prescribed

This seriously comes from a Carnrick Labs, Inc info sheet about Migraines.

Some of the “warning” signs:
Depression
Feeling of exaggerated well-being

Uncommong energy and vigor
Yawning
Feeling of weakness

Talkativeness
Difficulties in speaking

Some of the “triggers:”
Worry
Emotion  (does cynicism count?)
Excitement
Physical or mental fatigue
Change in routine
Travel
High winds ( I kid you not)
Changes of climate
(this list is so specific isn’t it?)

Some foods to “avoid:”
Caffeine  (yes, the same thing the use in Excedrin Migraine to remove it…)
Chocolate, coffee, teas and colas
Fish, Dairy, cheese, Eggs, Wheat, Nuts and Tomatoes
Cured meats

well that leaves me what?  beans, water, veggies, fruits, and fresh meats…other than the cheese, its my diet!

ugh, so annoying.

Technorati Tags: migraines, warning signs, triggers, foods

I downloaded this and I have to say it was OK.  The call worked, but the call quality if awful.  I get much better call quality on Skype on my laptop, but for some reason the quality of the call on the iPhone is very much reduced.  It’s particular to the application because if you call their test number you’ll also hear the same poor call quality.

Also the delay is pretty horrendous.  Last time I remember a delay this bad was calling foreign countries back in the 80’s.  I’m not sure, but it seems that everything goes through the Fring servers, if so, I can’t see the reason for this at all.  Hopefully they’ll either fix this or something else will come along.

Bottom line:  use it in a pinch if you really have to.

Technorati Tags: fring, iphone, skype, voip

I just watched Hannity debating with Al Sharpton on TV and I’m pretty sure he said “colored people” on TV.  Am I crazy or did anyone else watch that?

He’s such a jerk.  I hope he gets fired over this.

Had an awesome weekend at Shades of Green Resort.  Shared two rooms with family and friends making the already affordable $126/night even more affordable (for Disney $$$).  My sister/boyfriends and her friend/daughter shared a room and my mom, hubby/I shared the other.  Both were joined by a door which was great.

Sister stayed out of my hair, she was busy with the nieces, and the friend and her daughter…well it was interesting.  The girl is 6yo and lacks all sorts of manners and super uber hyper.  I wouldn’t complain about hyper…my kids are hyper.  But hyper is bad when mom says nothing to keep it in check.   Twice this girl pushed me out of the way as she was running, failed to apologize and twice told me to “get up” off “her”  chair.  Ugh.  But all in all I made it clear to the girl that I meant business…and she steered clear of me and my disappointing looks.  

The mother though did one of my pet peeves: she complains about her kid in front of her kid.  I hate that…I don’t want to hear you complain about how she never eats veggies in front of her.  At one point the girl is choking on her eggs and the mom loudly declares “you don’t do this drama at home!”  As if to prove to us she’s a tough parent forcing her to eat “good food.”  Later at dinner she says “now I want you to finish that plate because at lunch you said you were full and 30 minutes later you said you were hungry.”  Not to mention the myriad of false threats that I heard over the weekend.  

Don’t force your kids to eat stuff

First off I hate parents that FORCE kids to eat stuff.  Stop it…it’s stupid.  You’ll turn your kids into overweight spoiled brats and it’s not teaching them a thing.  Teach them instead to make the right choices, to fill up on good food first and eat the “junk” stuff after.  Instead of saying to my kids “finish your dinner” I allow them to make choices about what they want to eat, ask them “which” (and not IF) veggie they would like, and tell them that the order should be veggie then protein then rest.  So long as my kids eat veggie then protein I’m happy.  I don’t care if they eat a gallon of ice cream later…and since they never do, I’m good.  The rules about food here are simple really: “you don’t have to like it but you have to try it.”  If they don’t like it fine…they tried it at least.

Nagging is annoying

Nagging is different than expectations.  My kids know I expect them to eat some sort of vegetable, and they comply pretty well because it’s part of a routine.  Everyday we have vegetables and it’s on the table and it gets dished out…it’s there and a part of dinner everyday.  Stop saying no all the time.  It’s fine to say no, but you can tell bad parents because they say no to stupid stuff that can be negotiated.  This girl wanted to have ice cream..so the mother says “if you don’t eat your whole plate you’re not getting anything…” and continued with some nagging that made no sense.  My daughter knows my bar is negotiation and instead looks at me as says “mom I had my veggies but I didn’t like the meat.”  (it was beef strogonoff…) I asked her if she could try mine instead (it was roast beef).  She liked it, had 4 bites and said was full.  She had the equivalent of her-handfull of food and then indulged in a little bit of ice cream with sprinkles.  At home we don’t have ice cream often so no big deal.  

Kids graze because they have tiny tummies

Later my daughter was hungry along with the girl and the mother is ofcourse giving her some diatribe about how she didn’t eat enough at dinner.  Kids graze and so should all of us.  This 3 meal a day crap is dumb.  I can only imagine and laugh at the idea that cave people kept to 3 meals/day.  3 meals a day are good for factories, but not good for humans.  Let them eat smaller meals, and let them listen to when their tummies tell them they are full.  Don’t make them ignore the signals and overeat.  So we got some fruit because it was an opportunity to pack nutrients missed that day…no drama!

This isn’t really just a post about bad parenting as much as it is about how proud of my own kids that they have learned to make good choices (at least around me.)  My oldest is a picky eater for sure, and she admits it herself, but she tries hard to eat healthier and for that I’m proud of her.   Does that mean I don’t have to remind her? No.  Does it mean I don’t have to suggest something healthier? No.  But it means I don’t get flailing arms and screaming children at restaurants and I don’t have drama…at least if for that moment in our lives I don’t have drama!

First off I suck at keeping up with this blog. Quals were crap, work is depressing, money is short and so was my vacation. I could have used just one more week of vacation. Kids are back in school and homework hell has returned. Another day of drama and tears; hers and mine. I feel “ranty” today… must be hormones.

Bah humbug. I’m changing projects…AGAIN. Something in cyber infrastructure. Haven’t really thought about the topic much as it appears this time it’s mostly left up to me to come up with a topic. Weird for a science field. Anybody out there work in Cyber Infrastructure related to the sciences? It’ll be a co-advisorship with a prof in Comp. Eng.

In other news I had to stop taking Concerta. My hair was falling out…so I was put on Focalin, which is just the active isomer of Concerta. Since my hair went back to falling out, I’m just going back to Adderall. I hate taking meds…and I hate even more playing switcharoo with brain stimulants.

I have a project due tomorrow that I’m just hating doing right now. Oh well…back to work.

My first “hello world” for Java

Bah it’s been a month again. Oh well. Quals sucked and I failed my first time but passed my written/oral proposal. Only to have my advisor suggest I get a. PjS in another field 10 min later. Apparently the committee feels I lack a certain “intuition” and think this whole subject is painful and I’m not having “fun.”

We all know how grad school should be about fun…So I’m on vacation taking a week off with the kids.

Now I have to make a decision to stay or go. All of this because my ADD brain, specially when nervous, can’t remember proper names. So I look like an idiot at the board during my oral quals pointing at CH4 unable to come up with the word ‘methane.’ wow I must look so stupid up there.

There is a possibility that I may go into some sort of ECE dual advisorship deal. My sdvisor feels im more suited for a compyter phd. Who knows. All I know is that my project will change…again. This sucks and I wish my brain could spit out what is being held up there. And help me manage my time and not bore me so quickly with mundane tasks. Sigh. I should have gone into field work or the military where just when you are getting bored you change jobs.

In other news I pwned my iPod and it’s happily hacked. I got to do a 2 minute tether test yesterday. So fun. I’m such a geek. Now I’m using the wordpress app to write this so forgive the typos.

And for the Potus thought of the day:

Wow, the first man that cheated cost Hilary her dignity; the second cost her the nomination. Poor Hilary.

I’m back to legit iPhone land. No jailbreak, no hacks, no BSD subsystem and really slow show off terminals. The free apps on iTunes are nice and mobile WordPress is ok.

In other news I played a tennis tournament and our team got second place yay… But I fell and retired a game and came home with a nasty inversion sprain.

Lastly quals are killing my soul and sucking the living life out of me and this the lack of posts.

Ooh I forgot to mention the yiphone/ipwnage drama that should unfold tomorrow. It’s like a reality TV drama with really smart geeks. Hehe